This blog reflects the personal opinions of its writer and in no way represents the official views or policies of the United States Peace Corps. It is intended to be written in a factual and sometimes humorous manner. I tried to leave my personal opinions out of my writing as much as possible.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Oh Snakes!




"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do, than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover" Mark Twain
I sure hope MT knows how much trust I am putting in him. Also, completely unrelated to this post, you should know MT's autobiography is coming out. He wanted people to wait until 75 years after he died for it to be released. Just saying...

So. I might have joked around with the Oh Bats! Title, but I would never joke around about snakes. In part because a snake can kill me immediately by constricting me to death or by poisoning me to death and a bat can only give me rabies, which I have shots for, thus giving me extra time to get help before the rabies kills me or I turn me into a vampire.
Before I start the story story, let me tell you about the only recurring dream I ever have. It is simple. Big, huge snake. White walls. Killing me. Donezo. I think about this dream all of the time and wonder if it is a sign that I should not come to a country where snakes can kill me in at least one of the two ways listed above, if not in other creative, snake-like ways.
So. Last night I decided to write a few emails and then watch a movie in my hut until I fell asleep. I told someone good night and they asked me to buy a sucker for them. I wanted one myself so I went to the butigi, grabbed two (ok, eight, but it's because they didn't have change) suckers, wished the shopkeeper a blessed night, delivered the sucker, and headed on my merry way. The other day I had forgotten my flashlight, but I was prepared last night with the flashlight on my phone.
The walk between the dining hall/reflectoire/dumunikeyoro leads to our huts via a road that takes a couple minutes to walk. I stopped to let a truck pass me by. About 100 feet ahead they stopped the truck, got out and started yelling something. I, for some reason, thought, they are trying to kidnap me. They wouldn't do this because they work here (our training center has its own gate and guard), but that was my first thought.
They started yelling. My next thought was, wow, they really are going to kidnap me. Then I thought maybe they were fighting with one another because a man on a moto stopped next to them. I kept walking, thinking maybe I should turn around and let them talk and then leave.
Suddenly a lightbulb went off and I stopped walking. I yelled, “Ne?” Me? They stopped yelling, and I asked what was going on. What I thought they said next was, “Sa banna.” A snake died. Next they started yelling something I couldn't understand at all, but then they yelled “droite, droite.” Right, right. I got the memo and moved to the right of the road and moved ahead. It wasn't until I got closer that I saw the “dead snake” was EIGHT FEET LONG and sprawled across the road.
I ran passed it and one of the guards grabbed onto me. My next comment was, “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” over and over again. They kind of passed me from one guards arms to the other and I ran into the gate leading to our concession.
And then it hit me. My key to my hut was with my roommate back in the dining hall. So I stood in the dark, certain there were now 1340923840 snakes out there in the dark waiting to attack. Of course my phone was out of credit. One of our trainers walked by, I explained the situation, and he told me he would give the message to my roommate. I figured if she knew there was a snake that was dead she would not be as frightened as I was.
Well. Guess what I heard while waiting in the dark for one of those 1340923840 other snakes to attack me or the key to arrive? “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” being repeated over and over again by the guards. They were mocking me! The nerve!
Apparently the trainer who told my roommate I needed my key also told someone else a snake was around so soon I heard people laughing and shouting their own words of surprising as cameras started flashing. Turns out the snake, excuse me, EIGHT FOOT LONG PYTHON wasn't so dead after all. “Sa banna” (a snake died) and “Sa be na” (a snake has come) sound much too similar.
Long story short. I survived. I thank Mali for their delicious suckers (that I never ate) I just had to have while I watched my movie (I never watched). I wish I could say the snake is dead now, but apparently the guard who is also the satigi (snake king, aka, snake killer in this case) was not on duty. I also wish I could say this is the only snake to show up here, but one night they killed a king cobra and two nights ago they killed a poisonous water snake. Tomorrow they are bringing in a real snake tigi, who is bringing his own snakes, so he can teach us about them. What is there to learn? All snakes must die. Easy lesson. Only 9 more days until I leave this snake ridden place. I can't wait.

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